he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
