Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize