so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
