i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
