I swear she didn't look like that last week.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
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it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
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I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize