yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
