They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize