Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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