we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
