she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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