People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
