I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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