That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Randomize
