How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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