you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
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