maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
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