You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Randomize
