.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
