My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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