Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
