and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
