I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Randomize
