I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Panties = found
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
