Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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