How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
