My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
