When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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