My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize
