i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
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