What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
