you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Randomize
