I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Randomize
