you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
