a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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