My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
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This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
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Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
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