that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
