All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize
