I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Randomize
