i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Randomize
