sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
My cat gives me a boner
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
