32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
