there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
you win again, gameday.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
