I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
