she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
