As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
