Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Why is your signature on my underwear?
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
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