I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
