just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
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