i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Randomize
