One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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