Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I believe in your delicious
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
