guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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