don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Randomize
