he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
