Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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