I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
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So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
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