I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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