I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize
