Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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