I wish I could teleport
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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